So the last few months - maybe even 6 or 8 months - DD has just been barely existing in this house. As I mentioned the last time I posted (which was in May! I'm so lame.) we've had a lot of life stresses lately. This economy has effected my husband's job very badly. As of last week or so things are looking up, he's working steady and things are great! This is a huge relief, of course.
But while all of this has been going on, I was very frustrated that our DD was just gone. Slowly but surely disappeared. *poof*
And things start to get better at work and suddenly two days later Thomas is being all HOHy and saying DD things. And all I can think is, "What in the world?!?!" And frankly it made me mad. I felt abandoned when the DD died and to suddenly have it back because he was happy about work really made me feel.... secondary I guess is the best word.
So today while I'm showering, I'm thinking. (It's a good place to think. No one is usually talking to me - at least not steadily. My child came in three times to ask for things! lol) Anyway, I was thinking about the switch and then I started thinking about Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
Don't think I'm crazy. Just stick with me here.
So first there's the basics on that chart. The first level we still had. The 2nd - Safety, yes. Security, definitely not! The 3rd level, yes. The 4th? His self-esteem was shot - not supporting his family in the manner he's used to was driving him crazy. He was getting so depressed. I had to - in fact - kind of take control of our life and give him things to get done and activities to keep busy with so he didn't sit and go stir crazy.
As we got further and further from having had security, the worse it got. Actually, at first it was like he was more focused on DD but as time went on - not so much.
And really I think DD - in the realm of relationship ideals - goes in that top level. It's not just function as a couple... DD gives us a system by which to function in harmony.
Without all the other things it just came toppling down around us. I think certainly it withstands normal life stresses but unemployment type situations are not normal.
Everything is okay now at work and it seems to already be reappearing.
I just thought the thought itself was interesting. I bet Maslow wasn't thinking about DD or spanking, eh?
I wish I'd had this thought before we went through this last year or so. Maybe the next time some major life thing throws us for a loop I'll be better prepared for our reactions to it DD-wise.
