Bedtime

So remember when I said things wax or wane? We are still waxing here. And doing it on some other plane altogether! I have so much blogging material from the last month I'm completely overwhelmed on where to start. Kelly has maybe even nagged me a little... LOL. Since I've IMed with her through a few of my mental flip outs, she certainly knows I have things to talk about!

It started before I left town for two weeks. He was spanking more and make slight steps in suddenly "owning" his role in our relationship. We've done DD, he believes it works, but lately he's just truly taking ownership of the role and the fact that he LIKES it.

Anyway, so there was an increase in spankings before I left. But while I was gone he couldn't spank me obviously.

I don't know why but he chose my being out of town as the time to start reading on a forum and learning more about DD. His information has always come through me because I'm the one who researches. It felt odd to know he was going to read and form his OWN ideas. Yikes! He joined a chat I was in. He IMed with me a lot (about many things not just DD of course). He gave me the assignment of ordering an American Tawse from the Leather Thorn site. He gave me a bedtime!!

So I'm going to talk mostly about the bedtime. The American Tawse is gonna have to be it's own blog post and it won't even come in the mail until tomorrow. My mental experience of ordering it was interesting.

I have the habit of staying up incredibly late. I often stay up so late, so often, that my eyes start to spasm in this bizarre way until I literally can't keep them open. (I know, I know. Bad.)

So one night while IMing I mention that I'm tired and maybe should go to sleep. Which I shouldn't have done on the heels of telling him about one of my online friends having a bedtime. (Ya. Sometimes I'm so bright, eh?)

Suddenly - at 1 am - I have a 10:30 bedtime to be started the moment I am in my own timezone. All I can think is "NO!!!!" but instead I say, "Okay" and headed off to bed.

When I got home I did as he asked and did not complain. It helped enormously that I was sick the week I got home or I'm certain I'd have dealt with some insomnia. I am quite proud of myself for not complaining. As I got better I was waking up between 4-5 AM everyday and having to force myself back to sleep.

And then a few days ago he says to me "Is 10:30 too early?" and I responded by telling him how early I'd been waking up and he said I could change it to Midnight. Which is perfect for me!

That one was big for me.

1. Having someone else control my bedtime - this whole corner he has turned as made me deal more with my ability to let someone else take control.
2. Not complaining when I thought it was too early!
3. I learned he was paying attention to me and saw when it needed to change. It increases my trust in his ability to take care of me. If I had fought him I wouldn't have gotten to discover that.

And it was a really easy one to show him "See? I listen. This is working!"

So, all-in-all, the bedtime has been successful. Speaking of which - it's almost time!

Oh! And I learned there is a bedtime loophole! If he wants to *play* all bedtimes are null and void! Sheesh! :)