Is spanking relevant?

I figured I wanted to have this blog to have a place to help me process all things DD, also as a place to record DD related things so that in the future I could look back and see how things have changed or stayed the same as the case may be - but I really haven't been doing that, so I'm going to do that now.

Poor Melanie has heard this over and over and over again. I'm not sure why she puts up with me. As I wrote before, my marriage has had a really great year, but I'm left wondering whether or not the actual spanking is remotely relevant. There is no doubt that Dan and I have changed the dynamic within our relationship. He is in charge. This shift has been profound and totally and completely good. But, and here's the thing, I'm not sure if the actual spanking has a darn thing to do with it - other than maybe in a circular kind of way.

So far I have had really no emotional connection to any spankings. There was one time where he spanked for something that I did where I was totally being passive aggressive. But I thought he was spanking for my stress and it was completely not on the radar until literally two seconds before I went over his lap that there was an actual reason and a reason where he was totally right and after that spanking I felt guilty for days. So, that one incident makes me think it's possible for there to be some sort of emotional connection to a spanking. But without that, I'd think that the spanking part, is just a really silly thing we do.

If it turns out that Dan needs the spanking for him to feel completely comfortable being in charge then I will absolutely be okay with keeping the spanking as part of our lives. I really don't mind them at all (well accept while they are actually happening). And in fact, I really love the periodic swats I get here and there throughout the day - they definitely make me feel loved and cared for. But the bare naked, bent over, prolonged spanking..... I just don't know if there's a point.

I've decided to give it a year or so and see what happens. We really are still really new to this and we both have really methodical styles, so the fact that it might take us twice as long as anyone else is really not surprising. So it really could just be that we are still just in the middle of the trying to figure out how to spank and when to spank and for what to spank and the spanking is just too much a thing in the room and not just a means to an end. So I am open to the idea that I will get something from the spanking itself at some point in the future or that Dan gets something from it. But I'm also open to the idea that spanking just might not be relevant for us and it's just the shift in our dynamic that was the important thing for us. We'll just have to wait and see.

Kelly