Not sure what to do now

I have asked for DD. Dan has agreed to it. He's seen me react positively to a spanking. He's really appreciated the ability to express his displeasure and have an issue be over and done with. He'll do anything to make me happy. We've been progressing slowly but steadily in the right direction.

But we seem to be stuck, or at least stalled. I'm pretty sure he'd spank if I was a total ass to him, but that's not really me. And I'm pretty sure if I was totally stressed out; that kind of visible stress that causes you to be short with people or for me sometimes it manifests itself with very controlled speaking as if I'm doing everything I can to keep myself from running screaming from a room, he'd spank to give me some stress relief. But I'm pretty even tempered, so that doesn't happen too much. So that leaves us with... hmmm... I don't know what.

It's not that I want to be spanked every day; I so don't. But if I'm not usually an ass and I'm not usually stressed, then there will be virtually no spanking in our home. In the limited experience we've had with actual spankings I have found the connection created between us extremely desirable. What a ridiculously, stupidly clinical comment; but true nonetheless. It's an emotional release; one we truly haven't fully explored. But for a me, a non emotional woman, I crave that release I've only yet had a taste of. I've told him I want there to be more spankings in my life. He has agreed. But I think we both struggle; him more than I, with the why of it and we just haven't been doing this long enough to have found our comfort zone with this new dynamic.

A friend of mine directed me to a Vicki Blue essay that I'm going to give Dan tonight that talks about other reasons to spank; laying it out in sort of black and white terms. The other parts of DD seem to be well defined for us. We're both comfortable enough with him in the leader role, which is definitely different for us. He asserts himself about the little stuff that bugs him, much more comfortably. He likes to give my butt a few good swats to emphasize a point here and there. It's working for us, but I'm selfish and I want more. Wish me luck.

Kelly